it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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