I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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