Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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