i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
