do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
