oh god the rape fog is back!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
