she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
