I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize