Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
