I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
