Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
