At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize