How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
