**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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