it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
