also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
