I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm at about main and main street
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
