So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
