I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
