THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
