who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
