lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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