I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
