dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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