its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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