Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
