Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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