So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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