Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
