'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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