there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
