Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
