Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
