Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
