After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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