You can't motorboat a personality
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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