Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
