Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
