at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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