didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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