I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
