So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
