White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
