Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Pappa wants mamma naked
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
