i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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