I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
