so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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