i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
