the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
