why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize