If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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