Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
