Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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