whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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