OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
