in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
