Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize