This is not my ceiling
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
